The Outhouse

[LaLa]

The Outhouse


The service station trade was slow
The owner, LONE RANGER sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.



With quickened step PATCHOLYJULIE entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet-red face
PATCHOLYJULIE bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for her car
Just like three gals before.

PATCHOLYJULIE missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner, LONE RANGER gave a shout.
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

PATCHOLUJULIE tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner, LONE RANGER knew.

A speaking system LONE RANGER devised,
To make the thing complete,
LONE RANGER tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tyke, LONE RANGER
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"

[LaLa]

Yeah PATCHOULJULIE works them thar saloons at night and brings all them tanked up cowboys in and git them there drinks and git them thar gals..that is a horse around saloon! Just you ask PATCHOULYJULIE! She heads up the place thar.