~~I SURVIVED~~ THE END

[LaLa]

The warning that this MONSTER got, worked for a very long time. I NEVER DID ASK MY AUNT WHAT SHE DID OR SAID UNTIL LATER ON IN THE YEARS. I never went near him and I never let my sisters near him! I PROTECTED THEM. I never went for rides in cars with him, nor anywhere near him. TO ME HE WAS A MONSTER, THE BOOGIE MAN!

My baby sister who was born on Valentine's Day in 1959, was the one I watched like a hawk! Wherever I went to play she was with me. I NEVER TRUSTED HIM *NOR ANY MAN EXCEPT MY DADDY AGAIN!

My parents would always have fun parties at their house around the holidays, and sometimes just for no occasion. OUR BASEMENT was the "party basement." They would invite their friends, and gatherings with family members, AND YES, MY MOM'S PARENTS! I was like maybe 10 or 11 by then. I STILL HAD ALL THE HATRED I COULD EVER HAVE FOR ANYONE, FOR THIS MONSTER. I never was near him, never went anywhere with him.

I remember being outside. THE MONSTER COMES OUT, he is with a friend of HIS. FAMILY FRIEND. I WANTED TO THROW UP, I WAS OUTSIDE BY MYSELF. MY LITTLE SISTER WAS WITH MY ELDEST SISTER. I WANTED TO RUN AND RUN AND NOT STOP. THE MONSTER SAID TO ME. YOU REMEMBER SO AND SO RIGHT? I SHOOK MY HEAD YES. HE SAID "COME HERE HE WANTS TO TELL YOU A STORY, I THINK YOU WILL LIKE IT? I felt so scared! I was feeling so sick. I wished someone would just come out here AND HELP ME!! I WANTED TO DIE!

THE MONSTER KEPT SAYING COME HERE, HE WON'T BITE. I kept praying, praying to GOD to help me. I kept saying to myself, PLEASE DEAR GOD. THEN THIS MONSTER SAID TO ME, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW SO & SO WHAT WE USE TO DO. I felt sick, I felt so alone, I wanted to run, I WANTED TO DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE. STRIKE ME DEAD, GOD PLEASE! But it seems as though my feet were planted right there, like someone poured cement on them. I KEPT SAYING NO I DON'T WANT TOO. HE SAID COME HERE, NO ONE IS COMING, YOU CAN DO IT! He said you NEED TO
LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDFATHER! I kept saying no AND CRYING SO HARD. IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO THEM THE "FUCKING PEDOPHILES!" I cried and cried, I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO FACE THIS MONSTER AGAIN ALONE, YET ALONE HAVING SOMEONE ELSE TO HURT ME! I just kept crying with my hands on my face, and I didn't look at them it seemed a lifetime, I JUST WANTED THEM TO GO AWAY! I KEPT PRAYING, ASKING GOD TO MAKE THEM GO AWAY! I cried so hard and so loud. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!

NO SOONER THAN THAT, praying as hard and asking GOD TO HELP ME!!! I felt a touch on my shoulder, I JUMPED AND SCREAMED, FEARING IT WAS THAT MONSTER, when all I could hear was LaLa, LaLa Baby, it is okay you are SAFE! I looked up and saw my AUNT! SHE RESCUED ME ONCE AGAIN. She said are you okay? Did they hurt you? I shook my head no. She said now you run along inside the house, and I will see you later. I did just that. I RAN SO DAMN FAST! Later on my Aunt came into my parents house, where I was sitting with my eldest sister and my baby sister, with tears still rolling down my face. My Aunt said you will never be ALONE WITH THEM AGAIN. NEVER! Your Aunt took care of a lot of things, but I want you to know THAT, THE MONSTER WILL NEVER HURT YOU AGAIN. When she said this, my only thoughts were, oh please dear GOD let him be dead.

Of coarse my plea was not so, but I never had to worry again, nor did my sisters. IT WAS OVER! THANK GOD!

The reason I decided to tell my story of my molestation/abuse, is because I know many people in this world may have gone through some kind of abuse, and have never told. To me it takes the stronger person to let this all unfold, and share, so that they too can define and to explain some of the things they have gone through in their life.

I decided to share. I hope it helps. I KNOW IT HELPS ME EVERY TIME I HAVE TO REMEMBER. I use to hate everything about me.

TO THIS DAY MY WORLD HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME. I AM HOWEVER TRULY BLESSED TO
HAVE THE FAMILY I DO, AND ABLE TO SHARE WHAT THEY NEVER KNEW. IT HAS BROUGHT MANY OF US FAMILY MEMBERS A LOT CLOSER TOGETHER, BECAUSE THEY TOO HAD INCIDENCES OF THEIR OWN TO SHARE.

I COULD HAVE CHOSEN A DIFFERENT PATH, AND IT TOOK MANY YEARS AND SELF MUTILATIONS, AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND DANGEROUS THINGS THAT I DID, TO FACE REALITY. THIS HAPPENS TO ANYONE, NOT JUST ME!

THANKS FOR LISTENING.
LALA

R.I.P.
AUNT CLEO.
10/1/06

[LaLa]

Yes Toivo I can understand what has to set as "personal", or NOW OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. I held a lot in and still do to this day, but not like I use too. I have learned a lot through my past experiences, and we can either grow weak or strong from them. I am not sure what kind of business your sister needs regarding your finances, but I AGREE that is "personal," your business and yours alone. There is a lot of different forms of "abuse" in this world. I HAVE SUCH HATRED FOR PEDIOPHILES, ANYTHING HARMFUL TO A CHILD! They are so innocent, and to have their innocents taken away is SOMETHING NEVER TO EVER BE REGAINED AGAIN!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[LaLa]

You know the sad thing about this is, that many will NOT resend to this, or respond, b/c their chldhood was never like this and it brings me anger that I had to go through this! WHY ME??

[LaLa]

I just had to share, it terrifies me that children nowadays are so discarded. Their little lifes can be so up torn and they have no chose but to go with what is happenig to them and it kills me inside, that the little voices never had a say, thst they took this over and over again..why? because they trusted, what we have sowed.